I have spent my entire adult life in professional football, and if there is one thing my career is littered with, it’s people congratulating me on my excellent use of analogies for things I don’t like.
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Donald Trump’s inauguration ceremony has descended into chaos this afternoon as the Bible used for his oath of office spontaneously combusted, prompting widespread speculation that divine forces might not be thrilled about his presidency.
Scientists have published the most detailed analysis to date of the human genome, claiming to have isolated the code which makes people an utter pain in the arse to be around.
Local patriot and self-proclaimed defender of British culture, Simon Williams, 45, has reportedly been left emotionally shattered this week after an encounter with a new EU-mandated tethered bottle cap.
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