There is growing concern amongst the electorate that Laurence Fox could seek to punish the nation with his ‘acting’ or ‘music’ again, after losing his deposit while trying to becoming Clacton’s new MP.
With much of England having seen record-low rainfall over the last couple of months, and with another heatwave due to start on Wednesday, many citizens have called upon American soft rock band Toto to intervene.
A nursery school teacher has been left stunned and confused after a small child declared themselves to be a little teapot, short and stout.
The best thing to cool you down in a heatwave is a cup of recently boiled water, it has emerged.
Britain’s foot is still a bloody mess following the horrific gunshot wound it received exactly ten years ago, it has emerged.
Outraged tea drinkers across Great Britain have today united in anger at the suggestion that microwaved tea is tastier and healthier than brewed tea, calling for capital punishment for irresponsible microwave users.
People across the land will today be gorging on pancakes to mark that time that their Lord and Saviour ate some pancakes with his pals, or something like that.
Denmark has today proposed a solution to the controversy surrounding Donald Trump’s wish to purchase the territory of Greenland. Spokesperson for Denmark, Simon Williamsson, told reporters “We all know this has nothing to do with American defending themselves from Russia and China, they already had permission to place as many military bases in Greenland as
A Norfolk man who spent more than a fair amount of his hard-earned cash on four nights in Reykjavík to see the Northern Lights is now absolutely kicking himself.
If you live outside a 180-mile radius of the North Pole then you’ll be out of luck when it comes to presents, it has been revealed today. With Christmas only just over a week away, the global population has been stunned to discover that Santa Claus will be unlikely to make his annual delivery route,
US President and international laughing stock Donald Trump has today added a giant burning cross to the extensive Christmas decorations at the White House.
Father Christmas reportedly took advantage of a 50% discount on SatNavs and LED headlights at his favourite online retailer, the result of which has left his most famous reindeer facing a bleak Christmas.
There were tender scenes at the White House yesterday as a proud but ultimately stupid animal, who is believed to be called ‘Donald’, was offered a pardon by a Thanksgiving turkey.
In the hope of drumming up more sheep-like followers, it has been announced that the bleeding heart liberal echo chamber website NewsThump is to launch a Christmas TV advert.
A Norfolk man who spent more than a fair amount of his hard-earned cash on four nights in Reykjavík to see the Northern Lights is now absolutely kicking himself.
The Daily Mail is today celebrating the one day of the year when they can ask attractive eighteen-year-old girls to pose for photos without feeling at all seedy because it is A-Level results day.
Donald Trump has announced his intention to rename the Boy Scouts of America ‘Trump Youth’ after a a number of tremendously well-received rallies.
Glastonbury organisers have called off the festival on the first day due to a worrying forecast of pleasant summer weather, describing the current sunshine as ‘not in keeping with the classic Glastonbury experience’.
A nursery school teacher has been left stunned and confused after a small child declared themselves to be a little teapot, short and stout.
With everyone increasingly tired of the various charlatans vying for the votes that would allow them to take control of the country, the British electorate has suggested a novel solution.
A jaded man’s attempt to give up sarcasm for Lent is going REALLY well, it has emerged.
People across the land will today be gorging on pancakes to mark that time that their Lord and Saviour ate some pancakes with his pals, or something like that.
Having failed to persuade any A-List musicians to perform at his inauguration ceremony, the stubby fingered President-elect has turned to his trusty sidekick, Nigel Farage, to provide the musical entertainment.
If you live outside a 180-mile radius of the North Pole then you’ll be out of luck when it comes to presents, it has been revealed today. With Christmas only a few weeks away, the global population has been stunned to discover that Santa Claus will be unlikely to make his annual delivery route, thanks
In the hope of drumming up more sheep-like followers, it has been announced that the bleeding heart liberal echo chamber website NewsThump is to launch a Christmas TV advert.
A man from Surrey who spent more than a fair amount of his hard-earned cash on four nights in Reykjavík to see the Northern Lights is now absolutely kicking himself. Simon Williams, a retired staple manufacturer from Woking, had hoped to see the famous northern lights before he died and so booked the trip for
The Daily Mail is today celebrating the one day of the year when they can ask attractive eighteen-year-old girls to pose for photos without feeling at all seedy because it is A-Level results day.
An Olympic athlete has been made to run their race in their vest and underpants after forgetting to bring their kit in.
The tiny fraction of bacteria that cannot be defeated by anti-bacterial spray are having an absolute blast, according to reports today.
Former EDL leader and professional gammon-herder Tommy Robinson has been told that if he doesn’t like the laws of this country then he should go and live somewhere else, after an arrest warrant was issued for him following his failure to appear before the High Court this morning.
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