Denmark suggests Donald Trump buy a territory he is more familiar with, like Epstein Island

Denmark has today proposed a solution to the controversy surrounding Donald Trump’s wish to purchase the territory of Greenland.

Spokesperson for Denmark, Simon Williamsson, told reporters “We all know this has nothing to do with American defending themselves from Russia and China, they already had permission to place as many military bases in Greenland as they like for literally decades.

“No, this is about Donald Trump trying to leave a legacy whereby historians associate his presidency with increasing America’s territorial size, rather than his long list of alleged sexual assaults and his record of numerous felonies.”

Williamsson went on, “He clearly knows very little about Greenland, as we can tell by the way he kept calling it ‘Iceland’ during his speech to the World Economic Forum in Davos last week, so this is very much just a case of him seeing a vast empty space on a map and wanting to stick a US flag on it.

“And you know what else is empty at the moment? Epstein Island. It just makes sense for Trump to buy this. It’s cheaper than Greenland would be, and Trump already knows his way around.”

US Democratic senator Chuck Williams welcomed the proposal, telling press “That’s actually genius!

“We were getting pretty close to telling him he’d bought Greenland and then just flying him to Alaska.”

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