Fans of Newcastle United football club have reacted with relief after their stadium’s new sponsor was revealed to be none other than Saint James the Greater, Apostle of Jesus.
Search giant Google has responded to increasingly widespread economic pessimism by temporarily removing the ‘I’m feeling lucky’ button which usually sits next to the search box on its web page.
The judge in this week’s cricket no-ball trial has himself been sensationally accused of a betting scam after bookmakers disclosed that a suspicious pattern of betting had emerged on the length of the sentences handed out to the Pakistan bowlers.
A hitherto unknown left-wing protest group ‘Dale Farm Travellers Against Global Capitalism’, has announced it will join the protesters around London’s St Paul’s Cathedral with immediate effect.
Tributes continue to pour in for Zhu Chang, the iPhone factory worker who tragically jumped to his death yesterday following a lengthy battle against murderously long hours and poor working conditions at the Foxconn factory at Longhua, near Shanghai.
US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton today described as ‘inexplicable’ Eurovision’s decision to allow Palestine to put forward an entry for the qualifying stages of next year’s Song Contest.
Fire crews across England are close to admitting defeat in their attempt to extinguish the enormous fiery pits of cash being burned away in their regional control centres.
After the Evening Standard’s Russian proprietor punched out a fellow billionaire on live television, the newspaper has unveiled a robust editorial policy which will see it ‘smash in the faces of any newspapers who give us any shit whatsoever.’
Shaken by weakening market sentiment and fears that Italy’s economy could prove to be the ‘next Greece’, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has announced an ambitious plan to fill the gaping hole in Italian finances with his tireless thrusting penis.
A man from South Yorkshire with the largest collection of Daleks in the world has featured in the 2012 Guinness World Records for being ‘the least likely to have sex’.
The family of late childrens’ author Roald Dahl have launched an appeal to raise funds to renovate the swimming pool in the grounds of the family house and build a large kitchen extension, without which the author’s legacy may fade, they claim.
Prime Minister David Cameron is undertaking a short trip to Moscow where he will demonstrate the UK’s willingness to build bridges with Russia by offering to strangle a Chechen dissident.
The government is set to address the growing problem of homelessness by fitting the poor with snail-style shells as a cost-efficient and convenient home.
England are facing a tough campaign to qualify for the 2014 World Cup finals in Brazil after the weekend’s draw pitted them against potentially dangerous opponents in Moldova, Exeter City and C.S. Lewis’s mythical land of Narnia.
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