From Platty Joobs to Genny Lec: The 7 annoying abbreviations you’ll hate yourself for using

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Do you feel the need to pointlessly shorten already succinct phrases to get down with Gen Z? Looking for some catchy slang to jazz up your tediously dull social media content? Here’s NewsThump’s definitive guide to frankly ridiculous abbreviations. 

Genny Lec – it’s just over a week since a piss wet, piss poor Rishi Sunak stood outside 10 Downing Street and made his last desperate plea to cling on to power. But already, everyone is talking excitedly about the Genny Lec. And when the Radio 4 Today programme has a segment on the ‘Snappy G’, you know these phrases are part of the Zeitgeist – whatever the hell that is. 

Natty Serves – the PMs brazen attempt to appeal to stiff-upper-lip Tories with a new compulsory National Service policy has been given a more palatable meme-friendly feel with this subtle, linguistic twist. To be honest, it sounds more like Jacob Rees Mogg complimenting Boris Johnson on his tennis skills. 

Kezzy Starms – I’m definitely a socialist, says Keir Starmer repeatedly to anyone who’ll listen. But I’m not a Jezza Corbs type socialist, honest, more like Tony and Gordy B. And what could demonstrate this more than my own snazzy abbreviation? Capturing in two words my entire political philosophy of a knat’s chuff more state intervention, a pro-business stance, and something very vague on zero-hours contracts. As D-Ream once sang, Words can Only Get Shorter. Vote Kezzy. 

Platty Joobs – ah the summer of 2022. Simpler times, eh, when Lizzie Reg celebrated 60 years on the throne and we had a nice long weekend of barbecues, Elton John singing and endless commentary from BBC Royal Correspondent Nicky Witch. Sadly followed by Statey Funes in September. 

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Cozzy Livs – can’t come out for Cocky T’s, a Botty B or even a Maccy Dees? It’s the Cozzy Livs crisis innit, biting hard since 2021. 

Menty B (also Nervy B) overly casual, slightly odd way to describe a personal mental health crisis. Unlikely to be solved by a couple of Parry C tablets.

Tommy K – perhaps the original and best abbreviation, used in equal measures by greasy spoon owners and post-modern trendy bistros to describe their red sauce. Since TV series of Blue Lights and The Kin, it can also be legitimately used to refer to a suspicious and mysterious Irish paramilitary or drug baron character introduced in episode 2. 

Twatty Breevs – see all of the above.