Trump to build second ballroom by demolishing FBI office where Epstein Files are held

author avatar by 1 year ago

US President Donald Trump has announced plans to build a second ballroom at the FBI headquarters, by bulldozing the exact office holding the Epstein Files. 

The US President is currently tearing down the East Wing of the White House in order to build a new $250m ballroom, while also getting the sudden urge to build a second one in the exact place the Epstein Files are held. 

“Trump was very specific about which room he wanted bulldozed,” said special agent Simon Williams. 

“He kept asking things like ‘Are you sure that’s where the servers are?’ and ‘What about the hard copies?’ I don’t think I’ve ever met a president with his own JCB before. It was a bit suspect, to be honest. I almost got the sense he wasn’t that bothered about the ballroom after all. 

“I mean, does the FBI really need a ballroom? Surely someone has to be questioning the logic here. The room he’s talking about destroying is on the third floor of the J. Edgar Hoover Building. That’s going to be a right ball ache. Could it not be built on the ground floor? But no, apparently for some reason it has to be the exact room with the Epstein Files in.

“It must have really great acoustics or something.”

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