Tesla commits to another five years of losing profits

author avatar by 1 year ago

Tesla has reaffirmed its commitment to making billions of dollars less after Elon Musk said he would remain as the company’s chief executive for at least the next five years.

Speaking at the Qatar Economic Forum, Elon Musk confirmed he would still be Tesla CEO in five years’ time, despite the company’s profits dropping 71% over the first three months of 2025.

“I’m thrilled Elon Musk has decided to stay on as chief executive,” said Tesla shareholder Simon Williams, fighting back the tears.

“He’s been doing such a good job recently that I hope he never leaves. I mean, obviously he can leave if he wants to leave. No pressure. In fact, leaving might be a nice change of pace for him. He doesn’t want to stay at boring old Tesla forever, does he?

“Would a new CEO who isn’t a Nazi be preferable? Perhaps. But come on, who isn’t a Nazi nowadays? You could throw a rock and probably hit ten of them. That doesn’t mean they’d definitely, 100%, without a shadow of a doubt be a better CEO than Elon Musk.

“Look, I don’t want it to sound like I’m absolutely desperate for him to leave, because I’m not. And I certainly don’t want it to sound like I would drag him out of the building by his hair plugs, blindfold him and dump him in the middle of the desert so he never finds his way back. 

“I’m definitely not suggesting that either.”

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