‘Can I book Monday off?’ entire nation asks boss

Everyone in the country has put in a request to book Monday off work as a holiday, it has been revealed.

With England reaching the final of the European Championships due to take place on Sunday evening, after approximately 6 hours drinking, literally everyone in the country has now requested to have the day off on Monday.

England fan Simon Williams told us, “I’m not going in on Monday, I’ll phone in sick if I don’t get given the day off. What’s the point? I can sit at my desk doing nothing but nurse a hangover, or I can do nothing and nurse it at home. It’s up to them.

“There’s absolutely no way I’m going in. I’ll be out from midday, and absolutely plastered by five, so to think I will make it work and be in any way productive on Monday morning is just ridiculous.

“We’re in a final. It’s absolutely massive. So obviously we have to go out and drink lots and lots of alcohol so we don’t even remember any of the game itself.

“And that means no work Monday for me.”

Office manager Steven Lee confirmed, “It’s true, everyone has put in the same leave request. All 200 of my staff. Which is a shame because we can only accommodate some of them, so the rest of them will just have to ring in sick.”

Asked how he would cope on Monday with literally no staff turning up to work, we were told, “I couldn’t give a shit; I’ve booked the day off.

“It’s coming home!”

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