FIFA awards Donald Trump the ‘Ballons D’Or’ trophy
by Rich Smith 6 minutes ago 
FIFA has presented Donald Trump with a special “Ballons D’Or” trophy, consisting of two golden footballs hanging in a sack, in recognition of what the organisation described as “an absolutely complete set of achievements” during his presidency.
The award was created especially for Trump after FIFA officials concluded that, although he had not won the Ballon d’Or, there was absolutely no reason he should also miss out on something gold and shiny.
FIFA president Gianni Infantino told reporters, “President Trump has often spoken about his desire to be recognised alongside the greatest footballers in the world, and we are delighted to offer him a trophy that reflects his unique contribution to the world of football.
“Some people might look at two balls in a sack and see a crude joke. We prefer to think of it as a symbol of the boldness, the confidence, and the remarkable ability to turn a lack of self-awareness into a superpower that have become the hallmarks of his administration.”
Trump accepted the trophy at the White House, where he told reporters it was “probably the most prestigious award in all of sports, possibly more prestigious than the World Cup, which I also won”.
“Nobody has ever had two golden balls in a sack like these,” he said.
“People have been saying it for years. They say, ‘Sir, we’ve seen a lot of balls, but yours are incredible.’ And now FIFA has confirmed it.”
The President added that the award would take pride of place in the Oval Office, where visitors could admire it while he incorrectly explained how tariffs work.
White House spokesperson Chuck Williams said the trophy was a fitting tribute to Trump’s Presidency.
“Everywhere you look, from the economy to foreign policy, you can see the influence of this administration,” he told reporters.
“And now, thanks to FIFA, the President has a beautiful golden representation of exactly what his entire Presidency has been.”
Asked whether the trophy was intended as an insult, Infantino said he would never dream of offending the president.
“Besides, he’s already accepted it.”
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