A person routinely described by his mates as a “legend” has, in reality, only completed some very straightforward tasks for the benefit of the group, and has reached unremarkable levels of competence in popular tasks, it has been confirmed.
Simon Williams, 28, has been awarded the “legend” moniker by his Friday night drinking buddies, seemingly based on his ability to secure four tickets next to each other for the showing of Creed III at their local Vue cinema, and being able to polish off a full chicken vindaloo after an evening at the pub.
Williams is also thought to have achieved a darts checkout a couple of weekends ago of 41, comprising a 19, 20 and then double 1 finish, and has a funny anecdote about seeing Andrew Flintoff in his local Poundland last summer.
“Total legend is Si,” confirmed his friend Mike. “Always top banter.
“Haven’t seen him for a while though, as he’s been busy pulling swords out of stones, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, and coming back from the dead, and other weird stuff.
“I did see him briefly last weekend though, when he has back on form getting a strike at the ten-pin bowling. What a ledge.”