Brian May no longer able to walk diagonally after being made a Knight by King Charles

author avatar by 1 year ago

Brian May is fuming today after discovering he is unable to walk diagonally after being made a Knight by the King. 

May, who has previously been able to walk in eight different directions, as many paces as he liked, revealed his disappointment earlier after emerging from Buckingham Palace before walking three steps forward before turning left and walking into a wall.

Speaking earlier, he told us, “This is ridiculous.

“I was better off before. I should have never bothered turning up. I can’t bleeding walk diagonally anymore, or even in a straight line.

“I heard that I was going to be made a Knight by the King and was really excited as I’d heard it was quite the honour. 

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“Turns out, Queen is far better than a knight anyway, as you can literally walk where you want.

“Now all I can do is walk in a pissing L shape, and what use is that? I just look really stupid.”

Asked if the joke works when he is not actually a Queen, but a former member of a band named Queen, he told us, “Shut up. Just go with it.”