by 
Local woman, Simone Williams, has spent more than four hours wondering what her boyfriend is thinking today – which is more time than her boyfriend has actually spent thinking.
Boyfriend Simon mostly exists in a pleasant haze of vague reminiscences of the last time they had sex, a really good pizza he had a few weeks ago, and the rest of the time ‘is basically on autopilot’.
“He’s always got this really thoughtful expression on his face”, Simone told us after wondering for more than four straight hours.
“I wonder what’s going on in that dear noggin of his. I hope he’s thinking about me and how much he likes my new haircut.
“Or maybe he’s thinking about the holiday I’ve booked for us both in June. It’s a city break with plenty of nice eateries and some culture.
“I just know he’ll love it and is really looking forward to it.”
When asked, Simon told us that he’d been wondering what the biggest poo he’d ever done was, as when you think about it, one of them must have been the biggest one.
