‘I will dress up as Thatcher if I win,’ says Liz Truss

author avatar by 1 year ago

The Foreign Secretary has promised to dress up as Margaret Thatcher if she becomes Prime Minister, doing the voice and everything.

Rishi Sunak has appealed to the Conservative heartlands by saying he’ll run the economy like Thatcher if he wins the leadership contest. Liz Truss has gone one better by pledging to spend her entire time in Number 10 cosplaying as the Iron Lady.

“While the other candidates are worrying about policies and economicals and whatever, I’m going to deliver what the Tory faithful really want – a Maggie tribute act!” gushed Ms Truss.

“I can do a brilliant Thatcher! Check this out!” 

She then adopted a voice which can only be described as an appalling Mr Bean impression. “‘This lady’s not,’ no, hang on, I can do it better, ‘This lady’s not for burning.’ Haha, see? Anyway, I can practice it.

“But I’ll actually get my hair done like Thatcher – it won’t be a wig. And I’ve already got all the outfits.

“And my husband Hugh will change his name to Denis and shave his head and get the glasses and everything. I mean, I’m sure he will when I ask him. If he refuses I’ll just have another affair, ha! Let’s face it, dressed up as Thatcher I’ll be able to have any Tory MP I like!”

Tory MP Simon Williams said, “I’m afraid we’re more concerned with candidates’ plans for running the country than we are with what clothes they’ll be wearing.

“Wait, she’ll be doing the voice and everything? Truss for PM!”