Wednesday 10 November 2021 by HappyToast

New photo reveals why Boris Johnson doesn’t wear masks in photos


Boris Johnson mask falls of his growing nose

Prime Minister Boris Johnson cannot wear a protective face mask for more than a few minutes at a time because his constant lying causes the mask to fly off.

The Prime Minister’s inability to tell the truth for more than half a sentence has been revealed today as the primary reason for all the photos of him flouting Covid safety rules in venues including hospitals.

While many assumed he was just showing disdain for members of the public, that he believed he was personally above all rules and laws in the country, or that he was under the thumb of a secretive Conservative Party cabal pushing an anti-mask narrative, the truth is that his well documented Pinocchio syndrome (see previous NewsThump coverage) puts so much pressure on the mask that the elastic breaks.

“It’s particularly bad in interviews,” a spokesperson explained.

“He can be lying with such speed and regularity that his nose grows so fast the mask becomes a dangerous projectile. He’s nearly had someone’s eye out on several occasions.”

Number 10 has attempted to solve the issue with stronger masks and adjustable lengths of elastic but Boris Johnson’s lying is now so completely out of control that they’ve given up.

At the recent COP26 conference Boris Johnson was photographed not wearing a mask and apparently asleep after a particularly lengthy lying session.

When confronted about this rule-breaking and putting the 95-year-old national treasure David Attenborough at risk he said, “I do wear masks all the time,” which once again launched his mask across the room.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: