Friday 23 July 2021 by HappyToast

Boris Johnson’s nose is now visible from space


Boris nose seen from space

Repeated lying to fellow MPs and the British public by the Prime Minister has resulted in his nose now being visible from space.

A barrage of new lies from the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has caused his nose to grow sufficiently to cross the Kármán line, 100km above the Earth’s surface and officially be in outer space.

The latest lies, a mumbling mixture of falsehoods about CO2 emissions, economy growth, paying nurses and poverty decline caused a surge in growth that caught many scientists monitoring the situation off guard.

“We’ve never seen anything like it,“ one expert commented.

“He’s lying harder and faster than ever. Even our wildest computer simulations didn’t predict he would tell so many lies in such a short space of time.

Johnson’s nose growth is causing enormous disruption everywhere he goes, from meetings with other politicians to air traffic control near misses.

Emergency, last-minute recalculations also needed to be made for both Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic and Jeff Bezos‘ Blue Shepard’s trips to the upper atmosphere to avoid a collision.

While the increasing nose length and number of lies is causing problems for thousands of industries and livelihoods, it doesn’t yet seem to be a cause for concern to the British public who are still showing enormous support for his bumbling facade.

Opposition MPs however are feeling that enough is enough, with Labour’s Dawn Butler standing up in the commons with an impassioned speech, only to be immediately ushered out of the building for the offence of telling the truth.

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