Boris Johnson reveals he is ‘almost at the end of the line’ with his climate change analogies

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Boris Johnson has revealed he is almost at the end of the line now, and close to checkmate, with his vast array of climate change analogies used so far during the COP26 climate change summit.

With the Prime Minister currently using up to 25 analogies per interview to explain the perilous position the planet is in, and to try to sound really clever on telly, a concerned looking Boris Johnson took to the screens this morning to reveal that he is now hanging by a thread when it comes to thinking of any more analogies to use when discussing climate change.

Speaking earlier he told us “It’s almost curtains I’m afraid, I can’t think of anymore.

“I have completely run down the clock on these analogies, and we are only one day into the conference. It’s basically one minute to midnight and I’m 5-1 down at halftime in a football match, with a player sent off, or something.

“At the end of the day I’m serving to stay in the match here and I’ve completely run out of custard cremes if that makes sense?

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“So unless I can turn this around and somehow win the next four frames, then I’ve definitely burned all my bridges and might have to say something normal, like our climate challenging being like having bird in the hand even though it’s worth plenty of fish in the sea. Which is definitely a thing.”

Asked if he thinks an agreement can be made by leaders to try to stop a catastrophe he told us, “We are on a knife edge. Boom! There’s another!”

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