Tuesday 23 March 2021 by Harry Palmer

Boris Johnson to mark anniversary of lockdown by skipping Cobra meeting and shaking hands with Covid patients in ICU


Boris Johnson lockdown anniversary

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has confirmed that he will mark the first anniversary of lockdown in the traditional fashion by failing to attend a crucial Cobra meeting and then visiting a local hospital to shake hands with Covid patients in intensive care.

“Can it really be a year since we went into lockdown? Time flies,” Johnson told BBC News.

“It seems like only yesterday that I skipped those five cobra meetings on the pandemic, ignored all the warnings from Italy and visited that hospital and shook hands with everyone.

“A couple of weeks later I was in intensive care myself – what a plum! You’ve got to laugh.

“Anyway, there’s another Cobra meeting due today to discuss the implications of the third wave on mainland Europe. It’s vital that I attend but Carrie’s been on at me to choose the wallpaper for the Downing Street flat, so I’ll probably have to blow the Cobra thing off or she’ll go bonkers!

“After that, I’ll probably stand outside number 10 and clap or hold a minutes silence or something and then maybe send some Covid patients into a care home, just for old times’ sake.

“The important thing is I can look back at the decisions we’ve made in the last 12 months and hold my head high. We said that 20,000 deaths would be a good outcome but due to our handling of the crisis we’ve actually achieved more than 6 times that target.

“Great work team. Well done!”

A Cabinet of Arseholes – get the T-shirt and Mug HERE!

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