Tuesday 23 March 2021 by Mark Molloy

UK marks one year and two weeks since first coronavirus lockdown should have started


Bored during lockdown

The UK is to mark one year and two weeks, maybe three, since the first coronavirus lockdown should have started today.

With the country now in various levels of lockdown for a full 12 months, Prime Minister Boris Johnson will lead the nation in a national day of reflection on just how fucking bad it’s all gone since he first fucked up the lockdown.

Speaking earlier today he told us, “It’s exactly a year since we imposed lockdown on the UK, and exactly a year and two weeks since we should have done, maybe even three actually.

“I want people to take this time to reflect, on everything we have done wrong throughout the whole of lockdown.

“Obviously the list is endless, and we’ve only got a day to reflect, so don’t spend too much time on the finer details as you really won’t have time.

“However, I think everyone can agree that we totally messed up the lockdown, and the next lockdown, and the tier systems, and the next lockdown, and will no doubt mess up the next lockdown after this one.

“Coupled with abandoning care homes, the PPE fiasco, allowing international travel, completely ruining education and giving people money to eat out and catch coronavirus it’s safe to say it’s been quite a year of fuck ups.

“We just want everybody to reflect on the fact today that we really have done everything we could in the last 12 months, to completely fuck this up.”

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