Monday 6 May 2019 by HappyToast

“Oh crap, maybe Thanos WAS the good guy” says Avengers spokesman


hulk avengers

(Warning, this article contains spoilers and jokes about Avengers: Endgame)

Avenger Dr Bruce Banner apologised today for a lack of forethought and causing an environmental disaster that will almost certainly wipe out the human race.

The Incredible Hulk, one of the key figures in the superhero team The Avengers has admitted they might have rushed into things and didn’t think of the bigger picture when they created a new Infinity Gauntlet that resurrected half of the population of earth five Years after Thanos had made them all disappear.

“We were thinking with our hearts, not our heads and to be honest being a bit selfish wanting our friends back,” the giant green scientist said.

“We didn’t stop to consider where the extra 4 billion people were going to live or how we would feed them.”

Before Thanos’ extinction event, mankind had been using 1.7 times the earth’s resources each year. With a click of his fingers that had reduced to 0.85, meaning the earth could recover, there was enough food to go round, homelessness wasn’t an issue and pollution levels across the globe dropped.

Then on Thursday without any consultation with world leaders, the Avengers brought the missing people back into existence causing a state of emergency far beyond any superheroes ability to deal with.

Meanwhile, Sharon Williams of Basingstoke has been left furious that the Avengers brought back her deadbeat abusive husband, even though she’d found someone much better in the last five years.

The United Nations have moved quickly to declare a state of socio-economic and environmental emergency as the world is suddenly faced with housing, employment and food supply problems on an impossible scale.

“Not my problem,” said God of thunder Thor before flying off into space.

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