Glasgow sets new record after experiencing weather from all four seasons in under forty minutes

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Glasgow has set a new record for the speed it has experienced all four seasons today.

Reports from Scotland indicate that the day started as winter, before the sun came out and warmed the place up, followed by blustery showers, four inches of snow, and then a pleasant thawing breeze in under forty minutes.

Local stereotype Simon McWilliams told us that it was so cold when he left the house this morning he feared needing a shirt to go to Greggs at lunchtime.

“By the time I’d walked to work I was both soaked to the skin and suffering from mild heatstroke,” he said

“I hope the sunburn isn’t too bad, and I’m glad I thought ahead and wore my snowshoes as I needed them between Sauchiehall Street and Woodside Place.

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“I’m hoping it’s autumn again when I walk home this evening as the sunsets are beautiful.”

When asked if it could pick a season it likes and stick to it for, like, five minutes, Glasgow is reported to have replied ‘Fuck off.’