Sunday 12 March 2017 by JS Harding

Pedestrian subjected to barrage of tutting for failing to press button at the lights

Pedestrian Crossing man tutted at for not pressing the button

A pedestrian who failed to press the button at the lights was subjected to ‘moderate tutting’ from his road-crossing counterparts after they had to wait a few seconds to cross the road, it has been revealed.

Simon Williams, a Buckinghamshire-based wazzock with 34 years’ pedestrianism experience, was planning to cross the road to Maplins to buy some electronic tat, when he found himself first to arrive at the lights and forced to decide whether the traffic warranted a button pressing.

Williams explained, “It looked pretty quiet, so I thought I’d just wait a few seconds so that I didn’t have to slow anyone down unnecessarily.

“Then a car turned around the corner, but I thought fair do’s – that happens. Plus, I’d felt my phone rumbling, so I knew I had something to distract me for a few seconds.”

Unbeknownst to Williams, now lost in a hazy world of promotional texts from Domino’s, the traffic had increased – while fellow pavement-pounders had arrived on the scene.

“As I was innocently daydreaming of what to stuff my crust with, I looked up and saw some old duffer pursing his lips and shaking his head, while some grumpy cow was tutting and exhaling sharply.

“I tried to apologise, but they started going on about how people don’t fulfil their civic duty of pressing the button, and that they had tabloid newspapers to buy.

“But it’s twats like this who insist on making a big show of pressing the button when it’s clearly already been pressed – so stuff ‘em.”

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