Following yesterday’s ‘Let Kids be Kids’ protests about the over-testing of six to eleven-year-olds, the sheer complexity of SATs have been laid bare.
“My seven-year-old sat his SATs test and the questions were ridiculous,” said Chelmsford Mum Eleanor Gay.
“He was asked to describe in detail the process of setting a broken bone, then given a set of accounts for a small business to reconcile and the final question was a requirement to evolve.
“Now, it’s getting out of hand. When I was seven I was still playing with Lego, to ask a seven-year-old to evolve is just ridiculous.”
Describe the sound of one hand clapping, revitalise the space programme, direct a post-modern neo-realist Italian film, conduct peace talks in the Middle East; all questions taken from this year’s SATs for six to eleven-year-olds.
Sheffield Dad Simon Williams faced similar challenges.
“My nine-year-old was in tears last week because the teacher wanted them all to practice growing a beard in case it came up in the SATs.
“Nine-year-olds! Growing beards!
“And she’s a bloody girl.”
But Education Secretary Nicky Morgan remained unmoved.
“Believe me, with what we’re doing to the NHS, everyone’s going to need to know how to set a broken bone in the future because there’ll be no doctors left to do it for you.
“You’ll be grateful one day, I promise.”