SAT test questions for six year olds; set a broken bone, do the accounts, evolve

Following yesterday’s ‘Let Kids be Kids’ protests about the over-testing of six to eleven-year-olds, the sheer complexity of SATs have been laid bare.

“My seven-year-old sat his SATs test and the questions were ridiculous,” said Chelmsford Mum Eleanor Gay.

“He was asked to describe in detail the process of setting a broken bone, then given a set of accounts for a small business to reconcile and the final question was a requirement to evolve.

“Now, it’s getting out of hand. When I was seven I was still playing with Lego, to ask a seven-year-old to evolve is just ridiculous.”

Describe the sound of one hand clapping, revitalise the space programme, direct a post-modern neo-realist Italian film, conduct peace talks in the Middle East; all questions taken from this year’s SATs for six to eleven-year-olds.

Sheffield Dad Simon Williams faced similar challenges.

“My nine-year-old was in tears last week because the teacher wanted them all to practice growing a beard in case it came up in the SATs.

“Nine-year-olds! Growing beards!

“And she’s a bloody girl.”

But Education Secretary Nicky Morgan remained unmoved.

“Believe me, with what we’re doing to the NHS, everyone’s going to need to know how to set a broken bone in the future because there’ll be no doctors left to do it for you.

“You’ll be grateful one day, I promise.”