Enhanced Games cheese rolling overshadows traditional British event
Despite facing wide criticism from sports purists, or as the Enhanced Games organisers like to call them, ‘pussies’, the Enhanced Games took place this weekend in Las Vegas.
Tories become one-woman party after Kemi Badenoch purges everyone thinking about defecting
Kemi Badenoch is now the sole member of the Conservative party, after getting rid of everyone who has so much as thought about joining Reform.
Allowing inmates to dress up as one another for Halloween “possibly a mistake” admits prison governor
After the accidental early release of Brahim Kaddour-Cherif, HMP Wandsworth’s governor has conceded that allowing inmates to dress up as whoever they wanted for Halloween may have been “a mistake”.
Labour considers putting ‘highly efficient’ small boat gangs in charge of railway services
After 50,000 people crossed the English Channel in small boats since Labour came to power last summer, the government has revealed plans to find those responsible for the crossings and hire them to run Great British Railways; the government’s nationalised rail service.
North Pole denies existence of Santa’s naughty list
The North Pole has shocked many this week, with the announcement that Santa doesn’t have a naughty list, despite repeated promises that it was going to be released.
Diddy celebrates not guilty verdicts by announcing 12 new signings to Bad Boy Records
Fresh from his multiple ‘not guilty’ verdicts, P Diddy has announced the signing of 12 brand new artists to Bad Boy Records; each one personally scouted by himself.
Donald Trump appoints Joe Biden as his ethics advisor
President-elect Donald Trump has announced in a post on Truth Social that he will be appointing Joe Biden as his ethics advisor.
