North Pole denies existence of Santa’s naughty list

The North Pole has shocked many this week, with the announcement that Santa doesn’t have a naughty list, despite repeated promises that it was going to be released.

The announcement came on Monday, after many months of speculation as to whose names may, or may not, be on such a list.

Around the globe, viewers were excited to finally learn who the naughty kids were, and to see them finally receive their comeuppance.

The news that no list exists is particularly confusing for those awaiting its release because at one point, Mrs Clause herself claimed to actually be in possession of the list.

Fortunately, she clarified her comments, explaining “Yes, I did say I had the naughty list, right in front of me; sitting on my desk, and I was looking at it at that very second. But what I meant to say was, ‘no such list exists’. I apologise for any confusion.

“Although, I think we’ve all had similar slips of the tongue; after all, who hasn’t accidentally called their teacher ‘mum’?”

Some people remain unconvinced though, and are claiming it’s a cover-up. However, this was swiftly denied as ‘conspiracy theory nonsense’, by Rudolph, who also happens to be one of multiple reindeer alleged to appear on the list.

Unfortunately, it was hard to hear exactly what he was saying, as he spoke to reporters whilst eating a long roll of paper with a bunch of names on it.