Stubborn cat planning to present owners with same dead mouse for third time despite being told not to

A wilfully obtuse cat is hoping to have another shot at presenting its owners with the same mouse that it has offered them twice already this year.

Despite being told in no uncertain terms that the dead mouse is completely unwanted and should be taken outside and buried deep in the ground, obstinate Siamese Theresa is hoping that it will be third time lucky when presenting the ‘perfect’ gift to her owners.

Theresa’s exasperated owner Simon Williams told us, “Theresa is the most stubborn cat we’ve ever had. Every time she drags this mouse into our house it is in a further state of decay.

“She was toying with this mouse in the garden back in December, but obviously got scared of our reaction and didn’t bring it in to us.

“Then we came downstairs one day in January, and there was this mouse, barely still alive, on the rug with Theresa standing over it, grinning proudly. So the missus and I put it straight out of its misery and chucked it over the fence at the end of the garden.

“But then the corpse of it reappeared on the lounge floor last week, and again Theresa was sat there, proudly licking her paws like she’d invented electricity or something.”

He went on, “And despite me chucking the dead mouse into my neighbour’s skip, and telling her she is not allowed, under any circumstances to bring the same dead mouse before me again, she’s got a look in her eye that tells me she might have fished the thing out of there and is planning to leave it on my pillow tomorrow morning.”

Theresa responded, “Look, I spent a lot of time killing that rodent. It’s either my lovely dead mouse, or I go wild and scratch every item of clothing and piece of furniture in this house and smear my faeces everywhere, just like their previous cat David did before I came along.”

Advertisement

NewsThumpNotebooks

Somewhere to write down everything that’s wrong with the world. You may need several.

See the full collection →