Wednesday 20 March 2019 by Steve Marlborough

Red-faced Theresa May accidentally asks EU for extension to her garage


Theresa May extension

A confused Theresa May is preparing for a crunch summit with a team of Brussels builders after accidentally asking EU leaders for an extension to her garage.

The Prime Minister will discuss plans to widen the building at Chequers, her country residence, after another embarrassing gaffe in Brexit negotiations.

EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier is reportedly confident that the UK will agree to pay around £20m for some brickwork and a new pitched roof to house official ministerial clown cars.

“The PM must have misinterpreted the vote in parliament instructing her to seek an extension,” said a Downing Street spokesman.

“Officials raised the alarm when she started pricing up estate cars and trailers after the EU suggested it might only allow a ‘long extension’.

“Some of her closest aides initially expressed fears that this could finally spell the end of her tenure.

“But based on the evidence of the Brexit negotiations, the 2017 election campaign, the social care plans, the election result, the Windrush scandal, the wheat-field debacle, the DUP bribe, the 2017 party conference speech and her fucking dancing, we’re confident this will all blow over in a couple of days.

“We’re looking forward to a strong and stable future under Mrs May.”

Mr Barnier admitted his surprise at the Prime Minister’s unusual request, and insisted the final decision would rest with the other 27 EU heads of government.

“We had expected the UK to ask us to prolong article 50, so we were a little shocked when Mrs May requested renovations to her house.

“We have made it clear we have no desire to reopen negotiations, but in the circumstances, I believe the leaders will give serious consideration to her request for a new brick wall.

“If nothing else, it will give us something new to bang our heads against for the next few months.”

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