NewsThump to release Christmas TV advert
by Pete Redfern 8 years ago 
In the hope of drumming up more sheep-like followers, it has been announced that the bleeding heart liberal echo chamber website NewsThump is to launch a Christmas TV advert.
With festive adverts for supermarkets having become a talking point at this time of the year, second rate ‘satire’ site NewsThump hopes that the advert will increase the number of site visitors and Facebook followers by appealing to similarly smug left-leaning ‘comedy’ fans.
Senior editor Simon Williams explained, “It’s been a tricky year or two for satire, what with a US President who out-satires satire itself and the UK government stooping to new depths of stupidity, making it harder for us to use exaggeration to make a satirical point.
“Couple that with the change in Facebook algorithms lumping satire in with ‘fake news’ so fewer people see the stories, and the biggest UK satire site *you know who* securing a lucrative deal with the BBC for their own weekly TV show, and you can see why we’ve been struggling.”
He added, “We don’t have a lot of money, so our TV advert will only last five seconds and will only be shown on the Horror Channel and Movies4Men on Freeview.
“It will feature the NewsThump logo with the words ‘Are you a leftie libtard snowflake with a spare five minutes? One in ten of our articles might make you chuckle for eight micro-seconds’.
“We’re confident we might get up to a dozen more followers from this, so it’s money well spent.”
The advert is scheduled to air just once, on December 26th.
Yet more NewsThump stories
‘We must cut capital gains tax for people who give me five-million pound gifts’, insists Nigel Farage
Reform promises to rescue Britain by taking money from people who can’t work and giving tax breaks to people who don’t need to
Italians riot as tourist orders cappuccino after 11am
Man begins three-day period of saying the time and then what time it ‘really’ is
Johnny Depp left terrified after Met Office issues Amber warning
