A shooter has been given the usual adjectives reserved for white perpetrators of mass murder.
Ian David Long entered a club in Thousand Oaks, California and shot over 20 people, killing 12.
“Because he was crazy, mind you, not for any deeper reason than that,” confirmed local sheriff, Chuck Williams.
“You guys know the drill, by now. We’ll take a look at his mental health, his social situation, what video games he played, and we’ll make damn sure you know what his middle name was, for some reason.
“It’s a lot easier if it’s a middle-eastern shooter, to be honest. We just rubber-stamp the file with the phrase ‘Islamic terrorist’ and then go to lunch.
“But white people are just so complicated in their mass slaughters, it must be down to a deep and complex psychological issue, which will no doubt be a Netflix series one day where the white shooter is the protagonist and we go with him on his journey into darkness.
“We’ll learn his life and loves and come to understand why he did the things he did.
“Whereas with middle-eastern shooters, at most, we’ll use them as an inspiration for an episode of 24 where we can cheer as Kiefer Sutherland tortures them.”