Asda to charge you in advance for a whole year’s shopping when you buy a Kit-Kat

Asda has confirmed that they are currently putting a scheme in place that will take £2,000 from any debit card transaction, in order to ensure that customers can pay for their shopping until Christmas.

The supermarket giant stated today that ‘they always want to do what is best for their customers and will refund any unspent balance on 1 January every year’.

Sean Clarke, CEO of the firm, said today, “This scheme is in the best interests of everybody – we are just trying to make sure that people have enough money in their accounts to help us buy Sainsbury’s.

“Once we have completed that deal, we will probably stop stealing cash from our trusted customers and go back to normal.”

A similar scheme, whereby customers cards were debited by an additional £99 when they used the ‘pay at the pump’ option when buying fuel, was scrapped today after Asda realised that it was never going to raise enough to complete the takeover of its supermarket rival.

“We will not be going ahead with the trial scheme at fuel pumps, as we realise that many motorists are much too savvy to fall for it,” continued Mr Clarke.

“However, by targeting regular shoppers inside our stores, we will capture far more older and more vulnerable people who may not even realise that they have been robbed in such a way. Is it a crime if it goes unnoticed? You tell me.”

It is expected that Asda will have dragged Sainsburys down to its own level by early 2019.

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