“In slimness and in curviness” to be added to men’s wedding vows

Following an online body image row after a husband’s tribute to his ‘curvy’ wife, all men’s wedding vows will now contain the phrase “In slimness and in curviness”.

American Robbie Tripp’s comments praising his wife’s ‘curvy’ figure were dissected by millions, with some praising him for taking a stand against body fascism, but others criticising him for suggesting that men be applauded for preferring body types that do not fit the “tall and thin” look portrayed as conventionally attractive by popular culture.

The row escalated further, with some commenters saying that his wife was a normal, average size anyway, and others saying that he was still objectifying women, but just for different reasons than usual, with yet more people arguing about whether his comments made him a feminist or not.

More people weighed in, asking what did he expect anyway, a medal? Then still more people said that his post was beautiful, and the world needed more people like him.

Thankfully, with the insertion of the extra clause in men’s wedding vows, the row has been completely defused, and men need never mention their wives’ body shapes ever again.

Women’s wedding vows will also be amended to read, “In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, despite the fact that he looks nothing like Tom Hardy”.

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