First day back at work after summer holiday ‘f*cking horrific’ say experts

Returning to the office after a week off is like having complex dental surgery with no anaesthetic, a survey suggests.

New research rates the first day back at work as at least eight times worse than serious back pain and very nearly on a par with a short trip to IKEA.

“People are launched into a unique kind of emotional chasm as they bleakly contemplate less dreadful ways to make a living,” said lead researcher, Professor Simon Williams.

“They’ll often spend the morning drafting a resignation letter to hurl at their boss triumphantly before beginning a new life abroad.

“Then they’re hit with the stark realisation that it’s not really feasible to retrain as a lifeguard or emigrate to a hot country and somehow make ends meet by selling ham.”

Project Manager, Nick Ferguson, said, “This time last week I was sat on a beach with people I actually like.

“Today will be spent reading emails from people I can only tolerate by imagining I’ve taken a shitload of diazepam.

“I might have a cry later.”

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