Britons still ‘pretty sure’ their opinions on US election matter a f*ck

People across Britain are still ‘fairly optimistic’ that their opinions on the US presidential election are worth a toss.

With a choice between a fairly normal woman and a somewhat odd man on the table, Britons are keen to let Americans know how they should vote.

“I think they respect us”, said opinion holder and twitterist Simon Williams.

“For example: if I hadn’t pointed it out, I doubt they’d have noticed that Trump has shit hair.”

Williams had previously tried to bring Britain’s attention to Boris Johnson’s equally shit hair.

“Although ultimately, I can’t have mentioned it enough to sway the UK to vote Remain,” he admitted.

This voice of reason now realises that his attitude may have been a little patronising in the past.

He conceded that some Americans may be bright enough to comprehend a slightly more complex level of debate.

“And that’s why I’m letting America know some key facts about Trump on social media”, exclaimed Williams.

“For instance, did you know that he has quite small hands?”

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