Kim Jong-un claims North Korea ‘has dihydrogen monoxide bomb’

Glorious Leader Kim Jong-un has praised his North Korean scientists, after the team successfully tested a dihydrogen monoxide bomb.

Using latex-based technology and a length of garden hose, the bomb can fit in a suitcase, or be deployed by anyone with a basic throwing arm.

“Pyongyang now has a new way of defending itself from imperialist meddlers,” claimed Jong-un.

“Who would dare desecrate my palace, with the threat of one of these balanced on top of the door?”

US Military experts have dismissed the threat. “There’s nothing to worry about here”, said Major Luke Kapowski.

“They’ve tested the device at sea, where it was completely ineffective.”

However, officials in South Korean capital Seoul are not so sure. Speaking from behind a rice paper curtain, General Deok-sin revealed that a dihydrogen monoxide bomb could devastate his surroundings.

“Particularly my favourite silk rug – the label says it’s dry clean only.”

The UN has called for North Korea to ‘step back from the brink’, insisting such a weapon should never be used in late autumn.

As Bank Ki-moon explained, “this can only make a cold war even colder.”

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