Reform UK claims victory after ‘mass exodus of undocumented immigrants’ as migratory birds depart for the autumn

Reform members across the country have taken a break from shouting at hotels and RNLI lifeboat stations to celebrate a mass deportation of undocumented migratory birds.

As swallows, chiffchaffs and wheatears complete their annual retreat from the United Kingdom to the warmer climate of North Africa for the winter, Reform members have celebrated this victorious deportation of undocumented foreigners as a vindication of their ongoing media presence.

According to reform member Derek Williams, “I’m bloody sick of all these illegal foreigners coming over here, making nests in OUR TREES, eating OUR WORMS and shitting on OUR STATUES!

“It’s about time they all buggered off to the north pole or wherever they’re from. And I’m glad they have gone. Although, I did see a seagull shit on the roundabout I painted a few weeks ago, so they can’t all have bloody gone, can they??”

It is not known if Mr Williams is aware that they will return in the spring or that other birds, such as the redwing and the grey footed goose, will arrive for winter.

When asked about the migratory behaviour of birds, he remarked, “Well, it’s bloody typical innit! See! These immigrants don’t even need boats. Frankly, they should stick to where they’re from and stay there.

“And that’s why you’re never going to see a bird of bloody paradise on this island of proud patriots like me!”

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