‘Leave means leave’ not applicable to parliamentary resignations, insists Nigel Farage

Nigel Farage has insisted that his favourite line ‘Leave Means Leave’ doesn’t apply to resignations from Parliament. 

Despite resigning from his seat, Farage has vowed to fight a by-election in Clacton-on-Sea, making his signature catchphrase completely obsolete. 

“Okay, this time leave doesn’t mean leave,” said Nigel Farage, altering the famous pro-Brexit slogan. 

“Obviously I wanted a clean break from the European Union, but Clacton is a different story. I’ve decided that fucking the constituents around and making them choose between me and Count Binface is a much better course of action. I’m not worried that he’s slightly ahead in the polls, though.

“Everyone knows I was Vice Chairman of the ‘Leave Means Leave’ campaign. That being said, I now think ‘Leave Doesn’t Mean Leave’ is a much more accurate description of what I’m currently going through. Usually when people resign they just go forever and you never hear from them again. That’s why it’s a genius strategy. It’s the last thing anyone expected. 

“The Reform lads are whipping up some flyers with the new slogan on as we speak. Unfortunately, that means I’ll actually have to visit Clacton to do some canvassing. But luckily, if someone tells me to get off their doorstep or go away I’ll just come back the next day. 

“After all, leave doesn’t mean leave.”

Advertisement

NewsThumpNotebooks

Somewhere to write down everything that’s wrong with the world. You may need several.

See the full collection →