Thanos calls by-election

Thanos, the mad Titan who recently eliminated half the human race, has dramatically called a by-election.

“I am sick of being constantly badgered by the establishment for doing nothing more than clicking my fingers and killing half the people in the world,” explained the mutant Eternal.

“So rather than have Thor fill me in with his big hammer, I’ve decided to go to the people. Let the people decide, because I think they’re as sick as I am about hearing about this so-called ‘click’. 

“Whether or not I clicked my fingers and murdered millions of people is entirely my business. The establishment are just clutching at straws and using anything they can to take me down.”

Thanos’s gambit appears to have won favour with local thickos.

“I like Thanos. He’s a breath of fresh air. Killing half the population of the world and that. At least he’s trying something a bit different. I mean, yes, there’s still a load of potholes in the high street but perhaps he’s going to get round to that next?”

Chris Mason of the BBC was impressed by Thanos’s announcement.

“God he’s brilliant, isn’t he? Thanos, I mean. He’s so much better than normal politicians. I love him so much. This by-election? It’s a brilliant idea. It must be, because Thanos thought of it.”

It is understood that Voldemort, Hannibal Lecter, Baron Greenback and Boris Johnson are watching the by-election closely to see if it offers a viable roadmap for avoiding scrutiny for their own various crimes.

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