Donald Trump asked to turn Chicago River green for St. Patrick’s Day
by Nathan Cowley 5 months ago 
The city of Chicago has asked Donald Trump to turn the Chicago River green next St. Patrick’s Day after doing such a great job with the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.
Despite promising it would be ‘American Flag Blue’, the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool has been turned green by the Trump administration, leading the city of Chicago to ask for help with their St. Patrick’s Day tradition.
“That’s the exact green we want the Chicago River to be,” said Chicago resident Simon Williams.
“It’s perfect. Honestly, when I saw the nasty green algae all over the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, I realised we had to learn the secret. We turn the Chicago River green every St. Patrick’s Day, but we’ve never been able to get it that shade of green. It’s quite impressive really.
“I suppose all we have to do is attempt to turn the Chicago River into an American Flag Blue colour, and then have it backfire spectacularly. That seems to be the way to achieve this disgusting green look Trump’s managed. He’s an innovator when you think about it. Like Da Vinci or Michelangelo.
“The main question now is what should we call this new colour? Gunky Green? Ghastly Green? Grope Machine Green? The possibilities are endless.”
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