Donald Trump gives Iran yet another last chance

If you don’t open Hormuz there will be consequences and I really really mean it this time,’ Donald Trump has told Iran today.

The Iran government, which has done all kinds of shit before and will definitely do it again, has apparently been told this time is absolutely, positively, definitely their last chance and we’re not kidding this time, no really.

Senior Republicans ‘expressed disappointment’ as Iran floated mines into the Strait of Hormuz and launched a string of rocket strikes across the region.

As photos of Ayatollah Khamenei laughing hysterically on a huge pile of money from tolls, White House strategists recognised it might be time to really put their foot down yet again, because that’s worked so well on every previous occasion.

“It really is the final straw, again,” an unnamed member of the Trump administration told us.

“No more chances, just like the last time. We’ve told Iran this is it and they’ve agreed, just like they did last time.

”I think we can draw a line under the matter as the Iranians definitely want to accept our terms this time and absolutely won’t do it ag- what, already?!”

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