‘I don’t trust the mainstream media, so I get all my news from a convicted fraudster’ insists man attending Unite the Kingdom rally

The media is just trying to manipulate you into following their preferred narrative, according to those planning to protest tomorrow, who take as gospel the word of a convicted fraudster who has been imprisoned on five separate occasions.

More used to slogan-shouting in the streets of London and other UK towns and cities amidst the haze of tear gas and the cacophony of police sirens, a determined group of far-right protesters declared their unwavering trust in a convicted fraudster as their primary source of information.

“We don’t believe a word the mainstream media says,” insisted Darren Williams, a 42-year-old protester who will be in London tomorrow, while wearing a T-shirt that insists we should ‘Set Tommy Free’.

“The BBC? Fake news. The Guardian? Lefty liberal propaganda. But Tommy Robinson? Now there’s a man you can definitely trust.”

Robinson, a self-proclaimed ‘teller of truths’ with a CV that boasts a variety of criminal convictions ranging from mortgage fraud to assault, has become the bastion of truth for many who feel betrayed by what they describe as a biased and untrustworthy media landscape.

His social media feeds, where he frequently shares his thoughts on everything from immigration, to migrants, to other migrants, has become a staple for those seeking their news unfiltered by unhelpful things like ‘fact-checking’.

“I know what you’re thinking,” continued Williams, deftly practising the art of setting fire to a traffic cone that can be thrown towards a building that might house asylum seekers.

“Why would I listen to someone who’s been to prison five times? Well, it’s because he’s only ever been sent to prison for telling the truth – the elites think it will silence him, but they’re wrong!”

As Williams and his fellow protestors plan to move through the city, they will only occasionally pause to scream in the faces of bewildered onlookers, where Robinson’s influence will become palpable.

When it was pointed out that placing your faith in a man with a rap sheet longer than the River Thames might not be the wisest choice, Williams insisted that Robinson’s past as a fraudster only solidifies his credibility.

“He’s been on the inside,” Williams declared proudly. “He knows how the system works, and how it fails. If a few run-ins with the law are the price of truth, then sign me up!”

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