Spurs target swift Champions League exit to focus on relegation

Tottenham have targeted an early Champions League exit in order to focus on relegation from the Premier League.  

With Spurs playing absolutely spursy again, this time in the Champions League, sources within the club have confirmed that they targeted an exit from the competition so they can focus on going down.  

A spokesperson for the club confirmed, “We need to put all our efforts into being absolutely shit in the league now.

“We can confirm that we have written off the Champions league,  in order to focus fully on relegation.

“Obviously it’s quite difficult to maintain this level of utter spursiness across multiple competitions at such a consistently abysmal level. 

“So we have decided to just be crap in the Premier League and fully focus on our impending relegation.  

“Thankfully, we are away at Anfield this weekend so I suspect we will probably lose.  

“And it’s all about consistency. And we have been consistently shite.”

Asked if they feel that they have any chance whatsoever of winning any of their next few games, we were told, “Ha! That’s funny. Have you actually seen us play?” 

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