Trump assures Neville Chamberlain he won’t invade Greenland

Neville Chamberlain has arrived back in the UK with assurances from Donald Trump that the US won’t invade Greenland, it has been revealed. 

Chamberlain appeared optimistic after landing at Heston Aerodrome, telling reporters that the Nuuk Agreement, signed by US President Donald Trump, would put an end to US efforts to acquire Greenland. 

“I’m a pretty good judge of character,” said Chamberlain with a huge smile on his face.

“He promised that he had no further interest in invading Greenland and that all those troops lining up for deployment were merely a training exercise.

“I know some people might be a bit suspicious of the man, but I personally believe every word that came out of his mouth.

“The historic Nuuk Agreement signed by the US, the United Kingdom, France and Italy proves that Trump is completely dedicated to peace. Even though Trump was crossing his fingers behind his back whilst signing the document, I still wholeheartedly believe the US president will be completely true to his word. 

“I’m just glad we can finally put this whole ordeal to bed. At the end of the day, we’re all allies and nothing will ever come between us.

“What’s that? American choppers have landed in Nuuk?

“Oh balls.”

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