Woman whose party couldn’t spell ‘Britain’ decides English degrees are a ‘rip-off’

Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch has today announced plans to reduce student numbers taking worthless degrees ‘like English’, just 24 hours after her party spectacularly failed to spell the name of the country she wants to run.

The self-proclaimed gaffe-free leader of the opposition has told Conservative conference attendees that should they win the next election, her government will aim to end ‘rip off’ degrees that don’t prepare students for real jobs and leave them saddled with debts.

However, she is facing challenges to her call for fewer English graduates, with critics insisting she might fare better if she added one or two to the party payroll.

Political analyst Simon Williams told us, “I don’t know, I would say ‘spell the name of this country correctly’ is the sort of thing you’d could be asking migrants who want to stay here to gauge their ability to integrate, rather than asking the political organisation that literally wants to run the whole place.

“I’m not sure Kemi should be looking to reduce the number of people who have a firm grasp of the English language while her party is struggling so much with it.”

A Tory spokesperson told us, “The chocolate bar wrapper wasn’t a gaffe, it was a deliberate act of sabotage by unknown deep-state officials attempting to keep us down.

“But honestly, cutting arts degrees was one of the least bonkers things Kemi suggested, so we let her keep that one in the speech.”

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