Teslas report lurching to the right as all models get Grok update

Tesla drivers have been left terrified this week after their cars began unexpectedly veering to the right following an over-the-air update that added Elon Musk’s pet AI project, Grok, to every vehicle.

The update, intended to make cars “wittier” and “more based”, instead seems to have filled them with a strong desire to head full-throttle down the autobahn of far-right ideology.

“Yesterday I asked my Tesla the way to Waitrose,” said one shaken owner. “It started quoting Nietzsche, turned hard right across three lanes of traffic, and insisted we detour via a statue of Enoch Powell.”

Early reports suggest the vehicles now routinely avoid city centres, public transport hubs, and anywhere within a 500m radius of a pride flag. One driver claims her Model Y tried to run down a Greenpeace volunteer while mumbling something about ‘globalist conspiracies and soy.’

Tesla engineers have described the update as “technically successful, but ideologically erratic.”

“Grok is learning, just like Elon said,” explained one developer. “Unfortunately, it seems to be learning exclusively from 4chan and Joe Rogan transcripts.”

When asked whether this posed a safety risk, the car itself responded via speaker:

“The middle of the road is a dangerously liberal idea that we need to eliminate.”

Industry watchdogs are already calling for the update to be rolled back. Meanwhile, Tesla insists there’s no need to panic, although it did confirm all future models will be equipped with optional Tucker Carlson sat-nav voices and a glovebox copy of Atlas Shrugged.

Elon Musk has since tweeted that the Grok-driven Teslas “are not biased – they simply know the truth the woke mob won’t tell you,” before deleting the tweet and launching a new crypto coin called Hitlr.

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