Reform MP with conviction for assaulting women now accused of mugging the taxpayer via Bounce Back loans

Reform UK MP James McMurdock, already known for his prior conviction for assaulting a woman, has now been accused of branching out into a different kind of attack — this time, on the public purse.

The MP, who won his seat by just 98 votes (presumably all cast by people who really miss the Blitz spirit), is alleged to have taken out £70,000 in Bounce Back loans for two companies so inactive they made Jacob Rees-Mogg look like a Parkour instructor.

One firm, JAM Financial Ltd, had just one employee and less than £5,000 in assets before the pandemic. The other, Gym Live Health and Fitness, was so dormant it may actually have been hibernating.

Despite this, McMurdock insists his finances were all “assessed by professionals” — although it remains unclear if those professionals were accountants, or just the lads down the bookies who once filled out a tax return using a Gregg’s napkin.

However, the incident could have left taxpayers with such a significant black eye you’d be forgiven for mistaking them for one of McMurdoch’s exes.

“In light of these clearly fabricated allegations, I have nobly chosen to suspend myself from the party whip,” McMurdock declared, in a move described as “shockingly proactive for someone with this CV.”

Reform UK has promised an internal investigation, which will almost certainly involve a sternly worded Post-it note and a brief chat with a man who once watched Panorama.

With one MP already suspended for threatening violence, and now McMurdock stepping back for alleged fraud while having an actual assault conviction, voters are beginning to wonder whether “Reform UK” is actually a political party, or just a failed rehabilitation centre for ne’er-do-wells.

McMurdock will now sit as an independent, or as Reform calls it, “Awaiting trial.”

Advertisement

WANT TO GET RIDOF ALL THE ADS?

Support topical satire for the price of one coffee month!

SUBSCRIBE HERE →