Jeremy Corbyn excited to find new and innovative way to ensure Labour loses next general election

Jeremy Corbyn is today celebrating his plan to launch a new far-left political party, safe in the knowledge it will help him ensure yet another general election defeat for Labour.

After losing two general elections – one of which was to the least inspiring prime minister of modern times – it was believed Corbyn would no longer be able to take credit for Labour defeats in general elections, a belief proven wrong today.

Corbyn told reporters, “We are excited by this new party that will hopefully ensure we take enough votes away from Labour to ensure they can’t form another government.

“We aim to do to Labour what Reform has done to the Tories – i.e. decimate them in the polls, while also having absolutely no chance of ever forming a national government. Yes, the real victors in this exercise will be those on the right, who were destined for a generation in opposition – well, until I had this brilliant idea.”

Meanwhile, political analysts have insisted that if Jeremy Corbyn can’t gain power with the entire apparatus of the Labour party behind him, then he and Zarah Sultana have absolutely no chance.

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