Bearded Tommy Robinson to join Wet Bandits in Home Alone reboot
by Nathan Cowley 1 year ago 
Newly-released Tommy Robinson has agreed to join the reboot of Home Alone after being cast as a Wet Bandit alongside Joe Pesci.
The EDL co-founder, whose real name is Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, was released early from his 18-month jail sentence and will now join up with Joe Pesci in trying to burgle Macaulay Culkin’s house.
“He’s perfect for the role,” said producer Simon Williams.
“As soon as I saw that beard I knew we’d found our third Wet Bandit. He was hesitant to break into the house at first, but then we just told him it belonged to a Muslim grooming gang and he was straight in there breaking all the windows.
“There was a bit of an issue getting him over to Hollywood. Apparently he tried to use a fake passport at Heathrow, which set the production back 10-months while he did time at HMP Woodhill. I guess when you have thousands of different names it can be quite difficult to keep up with them all.
“His eyes lit up when we told him the character was called Marv Murchins. He made a note of it in his little name diary and said he’d keep that one for a rainy day.
“Boy, I can’t wait for Macaulay Culkin to hit him in the face with an iron.”
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