Dumbledore mistakenly refers to the Chosen One as ‘Voldemort’

The seemingly ancient Headmaster of Hogwarts, Professor Albus Dumbledore – known for his eccentric speeches – has shocked even his most fervent admirers after his most recent gaffe had them questioning if it might be time for him to hang up his wand.

Preparing to introduce “The Chosen One” – aka Harry Potter – to the podium, in hopes of inspiring young wizards who are preparing to face off against Death Eaters and other evil creatures – Dumbledore suffered the gaffe of all gaffes.

“Now I want to hand the podium over to The Chosen One … ladies and gentleman, Lord Voldemort.”

There were gasps, screams, and one young Hufflepuff even fainted. Teachers looked around drastically, but thankfully there was no dark lord in sight.

Dumbledore tried frantically to cover his mistake, stating that he is “so focussed on destroying Voldemort that he is all he can think about these days.” Obsessed much?

A miffed Harry Potter took to the stage with a bit of quick wit to ease tensions. “I am better,” he quipped, to uncomfortable laughter.

Ron Weasley offered his opinion on the matter in a post-event interview.

“He’s barmy, and older than the sun to boot. Everyone is so obsessed with him, and the people around him seem determined to keep him where he is, but he clearly belongs in an old people’s home. Hogwarts needs someone in charge who knows what day it is.”

Calls for Dumbledore to step down as leader in order to win the battle of good and evil have not gone unheard, and the white-bearded drag-on has responded.

“I am the only wizard who can beat Voldemort. Except for Harry Potter, of course. And countless other younger more virile wizards. But I am going nowhere. Am I? Am I going somewhere? I feel like there was somewhere I was supposed to be right now….”

At this, Dumbledore wandered off and began a conversation with someone who could not be seen. A ghost perhaps? Or an imaginary figure known only to Dumbledore?

Or, more likely, it’s a man who has lived longer than most, showing clear signs that he should now retire and leave the fight to come to the young(er by comparison) generation.