Tottenham v Chelsea game enters fourteenth hour. Spurs down to three men. Seventeen goals disallowed

The Tottenham Hotspur versus Chelsea game has entered its fourteenth hour of play this morning it is revealed, with Spurs going down to three men after a seventeenth goal was disallowed.

With millions of football fans treated to a feast of disallowed goals and carnage, for approximately three hours in the first half, with almost six minutes of actual football being played, fans have woken this morning to find the game is almost over with just nine players left on the pitch.

Spurs fan Simon Williams, who has managed to stay awake for the whole game told us “Best. Game. Ever.

“I think so anyway.  I ended up falling asleep for a couple of hours of the second half during one of the VAR delays, as they took about twenty minutes to disallow yet another goal.

“But other than it has been great. Obviously going down to three men is going to be difficult for the last hour or so of injury time we have left, but I think the lads can pull this off and get a result.

“Thankfully Chelsea are now down to six, and there are only eleven goals in it, or maybe ten but we have them right where we want them.

“We just need to keep playing this high line in defence and continue to confuse the f**k out of everyone.”

Asked if he thinks his team deserves to have only three players left on the pitch we were told, “Yes. To be fair, we should be down to two. Thankfully, the VAR guys needed to toilet.”

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