99% of VPNs downloaded with trousers around ankles, finds new study

A new study has revealed that 99% of the nation’s VPN downloads occurred whilst trousers were being shimmied down to the user’s ankles.

The latest research was released after sites such as PornHub, Reddit and X spent the last year requiring age verification, a move that some people have referred to as ‘a real mood killer’.

“The data has been fascinating,” said Simon Williams, lead researcher of the VPN study.

“We’re getting all sorts of new insights into the massive surge in VPN downloads over the last year. Not only did 95% of downloads occur with a large roll of toilet paper in the user’s spare hand, but 97% of the downloads also happened whilst everybody else was out of the house.

“It’s certainly going to take a bit of time to figure out the meaning behind all these new statistics.

“I’m especially curious about the fact 98% of the downloads took place after the user’s partner had fallen asleep. We also know that 95% checked if their headphones were working multiple times before going onto the app store. Very curious indeed.

“It just really makes you wonder what all these people must be doing with VPNs that require them to be trouserless.”

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