Please stop the ‘We Revoke Your Independence’ jokes as the US might say yes, begs Foreign Office

The FCO has urgently pleaded for Brits to stop reposting the classic Revocation Of Independence joke letter, warning that Americans might just accept coming back to the UK and then we’d be responsible for some dire shithole like Mississippi. 

Simone Williams, spokesperson for the FCO, explained that the chaotic nature of America’s government made it quite possible someone could leave something lying around the White House in the wrong tray and it would be signed without anyone reading it.

“We know it’s a great joke and it makes the rounds at our office too, but it’s vital everyone understands that there is strong evidence Trump can’t read, and so all it takes is one intern putting something in the wrong pigeonhole and an Executive Order would begin.

“Why do you think they ended up slapping tariffs on an uninhabited island full of penguins?

“Each time you share that fake letter from the king, you increase the risk it gets confused with an order to rename Yellowstone National Park as the Donald J Trump Greatness Green. And just like that, you would now be sharing a passport with millions of diabetic gun nuts who think Jesus rode dinosaurs.”

“Yes, the US has nice places like New York and Hawaii but the people are a different matter. The telly shows us clever and good-looking Americans but I’ve worked there and I’ve had to deal with the confusion-induced rage when I tried to explain that England and Britain are not the same thing.

“It’s just not worth the risk, trust me.”

Advertisement

TopicalT-shirts

Wear your opinions and maybe even annoy a politician or two!

See the full collection →